Who Am I?
Photo by Jerry Yoon Photographers
I’m Miriam and my pronouns are she/her/they/them.
With a name like Miriam Beatrice Cantor-Stone, you’re given many nicknames! But the most consistent one throughout my life has been Miri.
I take pride in the fact that I’m a connector and listener. I love getting to know people and learning their stories. And I’m happiest when I’m able to help people take those stories and turn them into something meaningful, whether it’s a wedding ceremony or a funeral or whatever milestones you’re holding space for.
I have always loved stories - reading them, sharing them, being a part of them.
Here’s a taste of my own.
In the fall of 2017, I went for a stroll with two very dear friends in a local orchard-turned-sculpture garden. They had just recently become engaged, and asked if I would take a picture of them in a particularly photogenic spot for their Save the Date announcement. I didn’t think twice about this request, and pulled out my iPhone to take a quick picture. After one or two shots, Dani suddenly ran out of frame, grabbed something from her purse, and jumped back in. She and Sal proceeded to dramatically unfurl a paper banner that read in rainbow letters, “WILL YOU MARRY US?” I couldn’t speak: I was too touched, excited, and overwhelmed with love for these dear friends. I had been friends with each of them individually before they became a couple, and it was a joy to watch their relationship grow. After a few moments of uncontrollable happy tears without an actual verbal response from myself, Sal asked, “Does this mean yes?!” Again, I couldn’t speak: I simply nodded vigorously!
At some point in my friendship with Dani and Sal, I mentioned how a dream of mine was to officiate a wedding someday. Weddings are such a unique moment in time: when a couple has the opportunity to celebrate each other, their families and friends, and their commitment to their future together. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings, and often found myself watching the officiating rabbi, preacher, uncle of the bride, etc. and thinking to myself, “Hey - I bet I’d be great at that!” Especially during my young adulthood, I took notice of what made an exceptional officiant versus an average one: a clear connection with the couple, an engaging but not overpowering personality, and the ability to make meaning out of the small moments as well as the big ones.
I like to think of myself as a matchmaker of sorts, but not necessarily of the romantic variety. I adore connecting people: I love introducing people to whom I’m certain will be their new best friend. I love sharing a new book or film with someone who I think would enjoy it. And after asking some key questions, it is a joy to help a couple with the process of creating a unique, meaningful, and personal wedding ceremony, engagement celebration, or proposal.
Banner photo by Sage Orville.
FAQs
What is your actual job title?
To be honest, I’m still figuring that out! I suppose I have many. I’m an officiant, a celebrant, a ceremonialist, a death doula, and more. I quite like Milestone Maven. Clearly, I like the letter M.
What exactly do you do?
I create and perform ceremonies and rituals! In the process of getting to know people, whether they’re a couple or the loved ones of someone who has recently died, I craft celebrations of life’s big and small moments.
Wait, what’s a death doula?
As the Going with Grace website says, “A death doula or an end of life planner is an umbrella term for those that provide non-medical care and support to people as they prepare for death and for families after a death. Called death midwives, death doulas, and end of life planners, this is an emerging field of care, despite the fact that this role has existed as long as (hu)man.” So a death doula supports both the actively dying and the living. Let’s face it, we’re all dying. And I’m here to support you through that experience, whether you’re on your death bed or not.
Do you only work with people getting married and people dying?
Of course not! I’ll also help you create a baby naming ceremony, plan a proposal, honor your single self, support you through a life transition (i.e. divorce, new job/house/whatever), and more.